


four rumours and a confirmation

by thenonexisting



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Coal Hill, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Pre-Episode: s09e10 Face the Raven, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9199022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenonexisting/pseuds/thenonexisting
Summary: The students of Coal Hill are particularly observant and the peculiar behaviours of Miss Oswald over the past few years have not gone amiss. In fact, certain rumours have begun to spread.





	

**Author's Note:**

> excited to post my first fic. complete fluff. unbeta'd. let me know what you think! :)

**Rumour #1: The Tan**

“It’s an obsession with fake tan, I’m telling you.”

“But it looks too real to be fake!”

“I didn’t say I know where she gets it done or how she gets it so good, but it’s fake tan one hundred percent.”

“But it could be founda—“

“Obviously not, she doesn’t exactly look like an Oompa Loompa, does she?”

“Who doesn’t look like an Oompa Loompa?”

“Miss Oswald!”

“Shouldn’t you two be outside in the courts?”

“Ahh—We were just—”

“Yes, Miss, _we_ were just going!”

"Bye Miss!"

"Don't say bye, you weirdo. Go!"

_(At least they didn't think she looked orange.)_

**Rumour #2: The Hair (Staff Edition)**

“Clara, you have the most stunning extensions. Where did you get them done?”

"Oh... you mean my hair? Right. It’s real.”

“Don’t give me that. I'm not judging!”

“Maria, I'm not-- Honestly, it just… grows fast.”

“Mm-hmmm."

**Rumour #3: The Clothes**

“So, today we’re going to be making a comparative analysis between the original screenplay for _Much Ado About Nothing_ and the modern televised remake— You’ve got a question _already_ , Heesham?”

“Miss… Look, I’m not tryna to be funny, I swear on my gran’s life, but I just _have_ to know.”

“Know…?”

“How comes you changed your clothes?”

“Ooooooooh!” “Someone’s been looking!”

“Quiet! …What makes you say that, Heesham?”

“You were wearing the exact same dress as my older sister this morning and now… you’re not.”

“Heesham’s right, you let me take a photo of your outfit for my Textiles moodboard. Look!”

“Jordan! Put that phone away right now.”

“Miss is wearing different shoes an’ everything!” “Miss Oswald, do you have a twin?” "Oh, my God!" “You know; I _swear_ I saw Miss on the telly the other month when those alie—”

“That’s enough! Not another word or else you’re all staying in over lunch. Back to the learning objectives…”

*

“All right, well done. Finish your sentences and books on my desk as you leave please. Homework's on the VLE. Heesham, see me.”

“Y- Yes, Miss? I swear I wasn’t tryna act up or anything like that, I just—”

“If you must know, I spilled coffee over myself and went home to change over break time.”

( _That quick?!_ )

“Oh. Right. Is that all you wanted me for, Miss?”

“Yep.”

( _There was_ definitely _something weird going on with Miss._ )

**Rumour #4: The Hair (Student Edition)**

“I know why Miss Oswald wears extensions sometimes!”

“Because she wants to?”

“Because she looks good with long _and_ short hair?”

“Oh yeah… True… But seriously I’ve seen her come out of the supplies closet loads of times on the way to Drama--”

“—and the plot thickens—”

“—but she looks weird, like really messy and tired and--”

“Miss is so short she probably jumps to get to the exercise books, still doesn’t explain her extensions.”

“Just let her finish."

" _Please_. It's worth it!”

“Enlighten us.”

“I’ve seen one of the caretakers in there with her a couple times."

"Right..."

"Once, I swear she shoved him back inside. They were proper friendly. Like, too friendly. Trust me, they were making the eyes.”

“No. I can’t."

"You’re saying _Miss_ —“

“—And whenever that happens, I swear to you, the next day she has extensions in, sometimes different lengths, _always_ covering her neck.”

“Hickeys. Miss Oswald is hiding hickeys."

"Oh, my God, we have got to put this on the groupchat!”

**~~Rumour #5~~ The Confirmation: The Caretaker**

“So you’re getting on okay with your revision, Iris?”

“Yeah, it’s going all right. I’m just scared, I guess.”

“Why are you scared? No, better question, what are you scared of?”

“Not getting my target grades, not getting into sixth form, just not doing well… and letting people down.”

“People?”

“Family. Friends. You.”

“Me?”

“All the other teachers work so hard to get us ready for exams. Would feel kind sh— _terrible_ if your effort doesn’t pay off, wouldn’t it?”

“Hey. I know the school can make it seem like GCSEs will make or break everyone’s future, but teachers—most of us anyway—just want you, all of you, to do well, to do the best that you can do and _be_ the best that you can be. No matter the grade.”

“But—“

“Trust me, Iris, there’s a whole universe out there waiting for you to explore. School just… helps you to get out there, even if it might not seem like it most of the time. There are so many amazing things to see and do, and you’ll be amazed by--”

“Clara! It’s an emergency!”

“Doctor! Uh… Sir! What—”

“I need you. It’s a matter of life and death.”

“You're so funny, Mr Smith. But, I’m with a student.”

“Ah! Yes, I can see that—it—her—now. Hello, young pudding brain. Now, as I was saying, I need—”

“My name is Iris, by the way.”

“Irrelevant information, but thank you. Iris, I’m afraid I am going to have to borrow your teacher.”

"Umm..."

“Oh no, you are not. I’m not going anywhere. Iris, as _I_ was saying--”

“I’ve been poisoned, Clara, I need the kiss o—”

“Okay, we are taking this outside!"

"Clara, it has to be you! I won't swap bodily fluids with any—"

"Out!”

“Yes, boss.”

“Iris, I won’t be a minute.”

*

“Sorry about that! The caretaker, he’s a friend. Needed… help. Now if you'll fill out this form for me, just a few questions on revision topics to cover in class.”

"Sure."

"..."

“Miss?”

“Mmmm?”

“Your… ummm… lipstick is a bit…”

“Oh. Oh!”

“And—sorry—your hair is kinda…”

“Thanks.”

“And-" _your skirt_ \- "my form, Miss…?”

“Brilliant, just leave it there. I think we’re done for today. Remember--revise, relax, repeat, yeah?”

"Yes, Miss."

“See you next week, Iris."

"See you next week, Miss Oswald."

_(Definitely hickeys.)_


End file.
